Into the Woods

Good to hear from you, Carolann and Corey! I miss you guys. And no problem about the postcard, Rick! And thank you for the answered questions/feedback, Jerry.

Welcome to this week's entry.

One day a man named David Kirwan visited Yellowstone with his dog, Moosie. They stopped at the Fountain Paint Pot springs, famous for crystal clear thermal pools and gurgling mud pits. These pools, which look deceptively inviting to the summer tourist, can reach temperatures in excess of 200 degrees Fahrenheit.

These pools, in short, can boil you alive.

This was David's first visit to the park. He was from California enjoying time off in the world's first and oldest national park. Moosie was in heaven. He was the kind of dog that loved a good romp in the forest, especially when it involved rivers, streams and mud.

On that particular day, the waters of the thermal pools were as blue as the pacific ocean. The closer they got to the springs, the more Moosie's excitement grew, the bluer those springs became. But before David could even open his door, Moosie flew out of the truck and plunged directly into the boiling, 202 degree inferno.

People watched in horror as the dog fought for its life. When David realized what had happened, he rushed to the edge of the springs and began removing articles of clothing. People warned him about the heat but David refused to listen. He dove headfirst into the thermal pool.

Once David's bare skin touched the water he howled in pain. With what strength and consciousness he had left he struggled for the edge of the boardwalk. Other tourists helped pull him out of the water but his skin slid off his body and his eyes had gone completely white. David died at the hospital only hours after he had been saved.

If that's not horrible enough for you, the oils from the dog's body made the hot springs have small eruptions later that day.

Good times.

I remember hearing that story and dropping the spoon I was holding. Could something that horrible have happened only miles from where I was sitting, waiting for Old Faithful to erupt?

Yes, yes it could. That and many other horrible things, all chronicled in a little nugget of literary gold called "Death in Yellowstone: Accidents and Foolhardiness in the First National Park". That's right. Someone wrote a book about 250 of the most gruesome, avoidable and downright depressing deaths in Yellowstone's 134 year history. And it is fascinating.

People have placed their children on bison for photo opportunities. Others have basted their baby's cheek with honey in the hopes that a bear might give a sweet little kiss for the camera. Children have stumbled into hot springs and men have fallen off cliffs. Women have been kicked by elk and hikers have been lost and never found.

One woman brought her dog to the park to let it run around in the fields. A ranger warned her that it'd be best to keep the dog on a leash. The woman angrily retorted: "Doesn't my dog deserve a little freedom?"

Seconds later the dog took off after a grizzly bear and her cub. The grizzly slapped the dog in the face and instantly broke its neck. Furious, the woman demanded why none of the bears were in cages.

The list goes on and on. As a tourist myself, I see history aching to repeat itself each time an old man shuffles down to the edges of a thermal pool or a tourist tries to get all buddy buddy with a giant moose. It all becomes a little hard to comprehend and I've stood shaking my head in disapproval on more than one occasion.

I mean, it's dangerous and unpredictable out there. You can get hurt and you can die a horrible, ignominious death. The second you step off the trail, and even while you're on it, you're at the mercy of nature. What are they thinking?

Then I realize I'm the guy biking cross country. By myself.

Am I sidling up to a giant moose?

Fuck.

Anyhoo. You'll have to wait for an installment of Interesting People and Amazing Hospitality until next week. For now, though, there are some Significant Things to note:

1. More photos are up: http://picasaweb.google.com/will.blank/

2. A few days ago I stayed in the hotel where The Shining remake was shot. I met four awesome folks trapped in corporate retreat hell named Colleen, Dana, Art and Tom. They let me sleep in one of their rooms for free and treated me to a delicious dinner. More than that, though, they were great company. Thanks guys!

Side notes about the Stanley hotel: On channel 60 they play The Shining on repeat 24 hours a day. We watched a good chunk of it in room 216 (which to Shining remake enthusiasts has meaning). I also noticed they brew a "The Shining" brand of beer at the hotel. Interesting.

3. Now I'm in Denver staying with Jon Kaplan, a former teacher of mine, with his wife, Shari and their two hilarious kids. I will talk about them later, but if they're reading this: thank you, thank you, thank you!!

4. I rode over a 12,000 ft pass two or three days ago. It was hard.

5. Here is the link to that Yellowstone book I was talking about: http://www.amazon.com/Death-Yellowstone-Accidents-Foolhardiness-National/dp/1570980217

Stats:
Total distance traveled: 311 miles
Average distance per day: 51.83 miles
Average speed: 9.98 mph
Max. speed: 45 mph

That's all for this week. Thanks for reading!